Wait, I'm supposed to what!
by purpleicecrystals
Summary: Liz is reincarnated into the world of Khr. Aquiring family members was not in mind. OC-insert DON'T LIKE, DON'T READ! Rated T for...Oh, I don't know; lmaguage? Possible Bel/OC
1. My Past Life

**Hey people~I'm purpleicecrystals, but you can call me PIX. If you are reading this, thank you. It means I'm being appreciated. Thanks~ *hands over invisible cake 'cuz not everyone likes cookies* Now reviews, please~ Do whatever you want- flame me, criticize me, but my favorite is compliment me~ I'm a narcissist, so don't complain~**

**Oh, sorry people! I changed some stuff and all that...*coff typos coff* Also, when there are parentheses, in 3rd POV, it's me, in 1st POV, it's the person.**

**I don't own KHR...*weeps***

Chapter 1: My Past Life

"Liz..." "Liz, wake up!" Lifting up her head, then dropping it back to the table, said girl flapped her arm at her classmate. " 'S still class...Lemme sleep..." So saying, she promptly fell asleep. Frowning, Julie shook the sleeping girl's shoulders, to no avail.

"C'mon, wake up! The teacher will yell at you again! Then we'll all have to stay in!" Turning her head, Liz smiled through her silky dark hair. "Too bad."

* * *

The bell rang. Poor Liz was sound asleep...

SMACK! "Owies...Gee, you didn't have to hit me so hard," Liz complained as she struggled to sit upright. Ms. Prim-n-Tidy merely looked down her nose at the school-proclaimed delinquent, a ruler in hand."Next time," Ms. Primsly (Ha! the pun~) "You will receive detention for purposely not participating in my class."

Liz twirled a pencil as she packed up. "Geez, why are all the old teachers such bastards they won't even let people sleep when they're being so fucking boring," Liz mumbled and began to rant in her head about why old teachers were so pissy and on permanent PMS. It was just frustrating, especially when they made all those boring announcements about...What was it, not throwing food at each other? Seriously, it was just a pie throwing contest...

* * *

Liz coughed out some (rainbow) dust. This was getting **sooooooo** old and wrinkled...like their faces. They would always walk up to her, sassy-like with overdone mascara and always doing that retarded Justin-Bieber-hairflip-thingy and say the same things, "Oh, you were sleeping in class again, you are **such** a lazy jerk." That was a weird way of using the word jerk. And they actually spent more time over-applying make-up than she sleeping. She really didn't understand it, but when she pointed that out, she just got kicked worse. At least this time she didn't get any hard to conceal bruises. It was hard enough to hide as it was. So, brushing her long, dark brown tresses out of her face, she pulled herself up and limped home.

* * *

**1st POV**

"It would be so much better if I could be like one of those anime people. They don't seem to mind getting beat up too much." I immediately started snickering at that. "Like poor tuna fishy and our famous Leon-Hammer." My giggling fit got worse.

**3rd POV**

Liz quickly bounced over to a beautiful...wait for it...VENDING MACHINE! She quickly got five bucks out of her backpack and jammed it into the machine. "Five bucks down the drain," she mimicked her mother in an extremely fake falsetto, it could rival Justin Bieber. Which was sort of creepy. In many ways. Grabbing her bag of Lays and a huge (operative word:**huge**) Frost Gatorade, she walked to the curb. Chugging a big gulp of Gatorade, she ran through many reasons why she shouldn't drink what she was currently drinking.

Not bothering to look at the lights or the traffic, Liz stepped into the seemingly empty (to her) street. "They would see me anyway because I'm wearing this ugly red sweater that got pooped on by a seagull on Saturday," she thought reasonably, though the poop wasn't the point. Another step, then- BAM! Pain, then black. Her last thought? " Damn, I didn't get to start on the chips yet!"


	2. God Cusses?

**Hello peoples, this is the second chappie! *applause*I seriously didn't expect any reviews! Thank you all~ *gives ice cream mochi* Don't like mochi? I'll give you gelato instead~ It's awesome~ And sorry about my slow update! ^^' Anyway, enjoy~**

**AND I DON'T OWN KHR IN ANY WAY...Though I would love to...Think of all dat mulah!**

Liz opened her gummy eyes. "Ewww," she complained to no-one. Seriously, the eye poop pissed(Is this overused?) her off. She sat up and promptly began brushing the sand off of her legs. Wait, sand? "Gosh, I have slow reactions," she said once again to empty air. Then, as she had slow realization ability, she realized she was wearing a dress. A fucking DRESS, for God's sake. A fucking white, mid-thigh length dress. Dafuq was with the world.

* * *

Turning around, Liz saw only white sand and turquoise waters. ' How ironic,' Liz thought sarcastically to herself. 'Now', she thought, 'Begin Operation-Find-Where-The-Hell-I-Am.' Coincidentally, she happened to spot a small, neon pink blob in the distance that was_ definitely_ not there before. "Owie!" she yelped as a small(same color as before) crab pinched her toe.

* * *

Walking over, Liz found the blob, which turned out to be a...jogging suit? She tugged on it half-heartedly as it didn't seem as if it could help her. _Sproing!_ An old lady magically (koff, koff, mystery!) appeared in said jogging suit and seemed to make the neon even brighter. Her bright smile rivaled the light of the sun. LIZ'S EYES BURNED. The strange lady started squishing her chubby cheeks. Wait, chubby? Liz internally slapped herself for not noticing earlier. As soon as she realized this, she also realized that she only reached Ms.-Neon-Lady's knees. Oh, dear.

* * *

**1st POV**

I heard God's voice urging me to go with her, so I complied. Following the strange woman, we came into the view of a white house. DAFUQ DID IT-"Wash your mouth, Liz." The creepy lady can read minds! Meep! And when did I tell her my name?!

I walked (Actually, toddled) into a magnificent (How unexpected!) mansion- "Castle." I edged farther away from previously mentioned mind-reading lady. As I stepped onto a richly embroidered red carpet, the softness made me slip, therefore making me produce some words. " What the fuck-" The lady-who-I-rechristened-as-the-lady-of-neon-pinkne ss promptly lifted me up like a kitten, and to my horror, dumped me unceremoniously into the arms of a maid (how did she get there?), who in turn threw me into a pink bathroom (what's with all this pink?!) with little white clouds on the walls. Whoa, that all happened too fast. Processing...

* * *

**3rd POV**

Ok. Recap. "So first, I was turned into a baby, then God makes me wear a dress, then a random pink lady appears, then I'm shoved into a pink bathroom. There's too much pink in the world!" Liz sighed. Unexpectedly, however, God reprimanded her. "Don't complain; the pink lady is my lackey. I put Larissa in charge of you to test your patience. So far you are failing. Now hurry up and take the fucking soap bar and wash your mouth, dipshit." Whoa, there. "God?" Liz asked innocently. "You need to wash your mouth too." God shut up and ignored her.

**Really, I'm super sorry for this super late update. *cringe* Sorry if you're Christian or religious or whatever, but I seriously had to do that. I'm atheist, so gomenesai if I have offended your religion. Reviews please~ Say whatever you want!**


	3. My Favorite Kidnapping

**PIX: HIIII! PIX is back!**

**Liz: Shut up, this is a story about me, not you.**

**PIX: *puts hand over heart, aghast* So cruel! I'm the one who created you!**

**Liz: Eww, I'd rather not hear that right now. I was going to eat.**

* * *

Liz stomped down the staircase. 'They could've used the money for a better bathroom,' she grumped. Walking down the soft velvet staircase, she tripped and rolled down the 37 steps left on the staircase. "Oomph!-Ow!-Agh! Etc..." Finally, she landed at the feet of a very scary pink human blob. Said blob grinned creepily and asked, "Up for some breakfast?"

* * *

Liz sat down at the largest mahogany table she had ever seen, but she wasn't able to touch the ground due to her small stature as a baby. Lady Neon Pink set down a plate of pasta in front of Liz. It looked so mouth watering, and Liz could swear that sparkles were literally bouncing off. However, once the fork had entered Liz's mouth, she promptly fell over(Baka and Test reference!) due to the poisoning effect. "Liz, when I come back, we'll explain why you are alive in another world, ok dearie? By the way, my name is Larissa, so stop calling me 'Pink Lady'." By this time, Lady of Pink-Blindess had left the room to get herself some lemonade. A certain someone crashed through the ceiling and shoved Liz none too gently into a potato sack.

* * *

A specific loud shark of the genus _squalodae _interrupted Liz's peaceful sleep. "_Voooooooooooiiiiiii! _How did the fucking brat kick you in the face?!" Liz sweatdropped. What did she ever do to deserve to get her eardrums blasted apart? The shark then loudly ordered whoever it was who was carrying her to hurry up. A few hours later(Liz was getting cramped up; potato sacks aren't very roomy), she was deposited onto the floor in the Varia mansion. In front of a large throne with a man called Xanxus- HOLY MOTHER OF GUINEA PIGS!

Liz jumped up and started running around like a crazed antelope with too much caffeine, with Xanxus' guardians occasionally hitting her with their attacks. Liz saw Levi-a-than, the perv."_De figlio di puttana!_[Son of a bitch!]" Liz screeched and somehow stole one of Xanxus' wine glasses and hit Levi-hentai full on the face. Levi soon became wasted and tried to kiss his dear boss' shoes, but ended up getting shot in the face because apparently, he was going to "get slobber all over my shoes". Mentally, Liz asked herself what she did to deserve to die painfully again in this world. Liz laughed maniacally and had a laughing contest with Bel.

"Ushishishishishi..."

"Kehahahahahaha!"

"...shishishishishishi..."

"Kufufufufufufu!"

Squalo flailed his sword around. "_Vvoooooooooooooiiiiiiii! _Bel! Stop that! And you! I'm gonna kill you, scum!" Liz delicately raised one of her tiny eyebrows. "Kill me, you fish? Do you even think you could kill an adorable little baby like me?" Liz started emitting sparkles. Unfortunately, at that very moment, Gaylord Mama Luss entered the room. "Awwwwwww! Such an adorable little sweetie aren't you?" He start gushing out the same revolting stuff that a grandma would to her grandchild. He them turned to Squalo. "How could you even think of hurting this adorable little angel?" Liz was currently in a very uncomfortable position. She was being squeezed between Luss' cheek and his arm. "I-itai..." Luss suddenly became protective lion(ess) mama. "Are you okay, honey?" Liz sweatdropped again. "Yes, mother." He was rudely interrupted from his cuddling by a certain racoon killer. "That piece of shit needs to pay for the wine glass." Liz frowned disapprovingly, though in an adorable way, which made Lussuria swoon and squeal and fart rainbows. "How rude. Now say the magic word~"

"No."

-Epic Staring Contest-

Xanxus finally gave in. "Please, scum." The baby just smirked, got a wallet from who-knows-where, and handed a fat wad of cash to the man. "Oh, you also might wanna stop killing raccoons; they're gonna steal your tequila." Xanxus threw a perfectly nice glass of red wine at Squalo. A certain word could be heard throughout the countryside.

* * *

**Tell me~ How was this chapter? And should I write longer chapters? I'm really sorry, by the way, for changing and adding so much stuff! Don't kill me! I realized that I had so many freaking plotholes I was going to delete this story, but I'm too committed~**


	4. The Varia Needs Some Professional Help

**Hey, people! Thank you all for reviewing! As for sugar...I think that's a good way to die, Decievingly Cute. And for all of you that think this is weird, I will explain in future chapters, so you guys can just relax and read my random and insane ramblings! Happy Reading! R&R**

Liz wasn't surprised with finding some of her favorite characters form a show. Oh, no, she'd always wanted to meet them all, so she didn't faint from this, being her usual insane self. Returning to consciousness,Liz yawned and stretched her chubby 2-year-old hands. Now, how was she supposed to get back to Larissa's(Pink Lady) house? Considering how they bagged her, she couldn't see how they got here. Sitting up, Liz realized that she was sort of trapped in Lussuria's arms, so she was sort of stuck in his manly(how?!) grip. Liz groaned, unknowingly drawing a certain sociopath's attention to her. Liz facepalmed.

* * *

"NOOOOOOOOO, PLEASE DON'T SHOOT ME!" Liz was currently windmilling her arms in front of Squalo's face. Of course, normally he would have tried to slice her in half, but it just so happened that he just woke up to her loud shouts of "Pancakes! Pancakes!" Bel of course, just stood to the side Ushishi'ing, and Levi was half-frying her with his umbrellas. Mammon, being his greedy self, just floated counting some bills. Lussuria was crying at the scene, and took a picture and labeled it, "Family Bonding"(Dafuq?). Oh, right. Back to an angry shark who likes attention. "_VVVVVVOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIII!_ You'll wake up the boss!" Unfortunately for all the Varia members in the mansion, two shots were heard, with half the roof accompanying the bullets to the sky.

"Pay up, scum."

"Meanie."

* * *

For the love of peanut butter, Liz thought. Even a walnut was nicer to teeth than Xanxus. She swore that she just lost one of her front teeth. Looking in a full-body mirror, she studied her open mouth. "Thagnabbith. That damm'th sthupit ath'hole," Liz trudged back down the stairs for a nice, civiliuzed breakfast of blueberry pancakes. Entering the kitchen, Liz was greeted by a volley of raw eggs. All the Varia members were covered with at least a square inch of pancake batter. All was normal in the Varia mansion.

* * *

"WTH, Bel, whath are you tho-ing!" Liz yelped as Bel picked her up.

"Ushishishi, the prince is pulling your cheeks~"

"Sthap ith! Sthap ith now!"

"Ushishishi, your cheeks are more rubbery than Mammons~"

"I'm noth mathe of ruhbbah!"

In shouting this, all the people in said kitchen stared. Liz stared back awkwardly. "Now, why don'th you djust go back thu that listhle food fighth of yours...Hehe?" Lussuria immediately started cooing and saying something about "cute lisps" and all that shit. Liz facewalled.

* * *

Since Liz was wondering why the Varia had come, a certain shark explained. "Your family took some of our family's info." Liz tilted her head.

"Whath?"

"Your family-"

"I'm in a fucking mafia family?!"

"...Yes, you are. The Morte(death) Famiglia to be exact-"

"Awesome!"

Liz squealed and went on hyperdrive, knocking down a few SUPER expensive antiques on the way. Squalo sighed.

* * *

**Alright, I'm going to give you some background info on Liz.**

**Name: Liz Saetta(arrow or bolt in Italian)**

**Age: 2(currently)**

**Appearance: Short, shoulder length, espresso-colored hair, amethyst eyes(again, currently)**

**Personality: Sarcastic and blunt, likes to step and squash people's pride**

**Likes: Most candy, vanilla and strawberry ice cream, plushies, traditional Jap weapons, fighting fairly**

**Dislikes: Chocolate, anything chocolate-flavored, stupid people, people stating the fucking OBVIOUS, guns, firing squad executions**

**So, people, reviews please~ Don't hesitate to tell me what I did wrong or something~TT^TT**

**Oh, by the way, this is important to the story; what flame should Liz have- a known flame or a new flame?**


	5. Operation: Flee the Varia!

**Hey! Another chappie~ Oh my god, I was dying from lack of inspiration on how to get Liz out of the Varia mansion. I WAS DYING I TELL YOU! So toodles and drop a review~ I don't own KHR(and I never will...TT^TT)**

So, Liz decided to escape, as the chapter title implies. Using her vast collection of random facts, she came up with quite a brilliant plan. She merely set up a karaoke contest, with balloons and everything for a "little" partying up the rowdy house. This was going to be pleasant.

* * *

"All right everyone! Let's sing!" As Liz heard the loud and obnoxious voice of a certain gaylord wearing a furry boa, Liz smirked and sneaked into the hallway. Her reasoning was something like this:

Hallway=Phone=Blackmail Dino=Ticket on an airplane and a smoothie=Back to the mansion=Back to the Lady.

Liz facepalmed. She didn't want to see the Lady again.

* * *

"_Brinnng!_"

"Hey, Dino?"

"Hello? Who is this and why-"

"My, my, Dino, a damsel is in distress, and if you don't come to the Varia-"

"Whoa! Did you say Varia? And who the-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN AND DON'T INTERRUPT!"

'What a hypocrite,' Dino thought.

Poor Dino could swear there was a vicious purple toxic gas surrounding his poor beat-up cell phone.

"...Well, I'm sorta stuck there right now, and now, if you don't come in thirty minutes I will tell your dear Romario about the time when ***whisper whisper* **I know his number and I'll get Reborn-"

"W-wait! How do you know that?! And how do you know Romario's number? And-"

"Shut up, you damn horse. If you know what's good for you, I won't tell~"

The caller promptly hung up. Dino was severely shaken and gave Romario a thorough questioning, to no avail. After roughly twenty five minutes, Dino remembered that he was supposed to "pick up" the mystery person in thirty minutes or bad things would happen. "Waaaaaaaaaahhhhh! Romario, get the helicopter!"

* * *

Liz sat on the rooftop munching on a muffin that Lussuria had baked that morning. "EEW! Yuck, why the hell is there a raisin in here?!" Liz pouted at her muffin. It just looked like a muffin. She stared at the muffin. The muffin stared back. *Stare* Frustrated, Liz finally kicked the muffin off the roof in a fit of childish anger(Me: But she is a child! Liz: No, I'm not! I'm technically 18!). A helicopter's rotating blade disrupted her silent ranting. The door opened and Liz yelled,"YOU'RE FUCKING FIVE SECONDS LATE YOU SON OF A B****!" Dino had a visible layer of sweat dripping down his face caused by the child. Babies were scary people( Reborn, his tutor!).

* * *

"Hey, Dino?"

"...What is it?" Dino chose to not question the child about her uncanny knowledge.

"Umm...Can I stay at your place? The caretaker(ahem, a fucking blinding machine) where I live is sorta scaryyyyy!"

Liz did puppy dog eyes and looked so unbearably _sad._Dino sweatdropped. But then, he didn't know who the hell the girl's fairy godmother was. "Err, okay?"

Previously mentioned _child _squealed at an impossibly high pitch, therefore shattering the helicopter's windows.

"I can pay for that!"

Romario and Dino both facepalmed.

Romario decided to speak for his boss. "What's your name, child?"

"Liz. My last name's Saetta."

**So, how was this? Liz is now introduced to the Bucking Horse? Well, people? I need your feedback on what flame Liz should have! PLEASE review with your answer!**


	6. Becoming a Freeloader

**PIX: Yaya! Another chappie! By the way, thank you Cookie, for pointing out my flaws! I'm REALLY sorry for the SUPER slow update! *cries***

**Liz: Hurry the fuck up. No one likes to read the author's notes.**

**PIX: Be nice, or I'll make you do something embarassing~ *cackles* Oh, do the disclaimer!**

**Liz: Fine. PIX does not own KHR in any way, shape, or form. If there are any references, they are made because of this insane author sitting next to- Where did she go? She left a note:**

**_I had to go to the toilet._**

_~PIX_

* * *

On the ride back, Liz got her wallet out and counted how much money she had left. Growling, she made a mental note to get more cash, as you couldn't be tracked that way. Dino, trying to make a conversation in the rather tense atmosphere, stuttered. "Ah, Liz, how old are you?"

"Well, I suppose I am around two..."

Dino and Romario looked blankly at her. "Never mind, you wouldn't understand," Liz flapped her hand at them loftily. Dino took his best guess, which was that Liz was somehow related to Reborn. And if it was Reborn...Well, you can't really defy him.

* * *

The trio had reached the Chiavarone mansion.

"_Oppa Gangnam style!_"_  
_

Liz reached somewhere and magically produced(like how she got her wallet) a Nokia. Sighing, she spoke into it."Hello, Liz is currently unavailable; please leave a message-"

"_WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, DISAPPEARING ON ME LIKE THAT! AND THEN, SOME CONNECTION PROBLEM BLOCKED ME FROM CONNECTING TO YOUR PHONE AND I-_"

"Calm your tits, Larrisa the Pink Lady." Liz answered in monotone, pulling a Fran. Romario looked at Dino. Yup, definitely the caretaker.

"Tell me where you are, and I'll be right over." Larissa had to contain herself.

Liz tapped her fingers on a nearby table. "Actually, I'm thinking of staying here until I actually have to go to school." Larissa felt a vein pop. "You-"

"No cussing right? And your food, I have to say, is quite mediocre." Dino paled. How blunt!

"Alright then, I suppose you can," Larissa breathed out after some time. "Just have them train you and all that."

Negotiator Liz smiled, and promptly uttered a quick, "Bye!" popping the 'b'. Spinning on her heel, she regarded the two Mafiosi. "Well, good news, folks, I can live with you to fellers!" Liz congratulated, to Dino's utter horror. He immediately sped to his little emo corner and started growing mushrooms.

* * *

**Ten Years Later**

**1st Pov**

Obviously, the time spent in the Varia did me good, because the first time I got evaluated for the training, I managed to last five minutes. Usually, the damnable old(yes, he's old to me) horse trained me, Romario always watching on the side. I'd gotten up a little earlier and was taking a little stroll around the mansion. I walked up the stairway and in the building. Romario gave me a salute, a greeting I enforced from day one. "Hello, and good day, Romario!" Inside, however, I was slightly unnerved. I truly wished to know what power he possessed to make Dino fight better. He had the appearance of a nice person, but he was actually and alien from outer space, or so I thought, for how else could he give Dino unearthly powers just by being near him? Aliens seriously creeped me out.

Anyhow, I continued walking up the stairs, a beautiful plonking sound greeting my ears. Taking a step to the right, I watched in hidden amusement as a mop-haired Italian blonde tumbled down all 87 steps. He made a wonderful _splat_ when he reached the bottom. Romario sighed at his boss' daily trip. Coming from the looks of the blonde's forehead, today was a bad day. He had an unsightly mass of purple and yellow across his forehead, and probably more in places that were covered by clothes, Standing up, he smiled and said, "I'm okay! And guess who's coming?" Liz tilted her head. "Barney?" Poor Romario facefloored. Oblivious to his subordinate's reaction, Dino replied, "Your caretaker!" This induced a dramatic and undeniably fake heart attack from Liz. "The trauma! It was the dark days that I spent my days with Larissa! Wait." Liz sat up. "I think I hear something.

* * *

**Aaaaaaaaaaaand the Pink Lady appears! *mock shock* Hey, that rhymed! So people, please drop a lovely review! Review make me feel happy and fluffy! EVEN IF I GET SOMETHING THAT ISN'T VERY NICE(hasn't happened...yet)!**


	7. Enter the Larissa!

**Alright, readers, reviewers, followers, favoriters, whatever you are, THANK YOU OH SO MUCH! It seems that my updates will be slower and slower since school is coming soon(not that I'm excited or anything)! I want to give you all huggles and kissies and set Lussuria on you all to show my love! Though I suppose that much isn't needed... Read & review, please~ Feedback for the flames, remember!**

* * *

Liz heard a vehicle approaching. "_Ding, dong!_" The doorbell sang sweetly. Dino rushed to get the door, only to step on the nice, plush carpet and smash the beautiful mahogany French doors open at Larissa's neon pink platform shoes. Liz winced. "Dino, you are _definitely_ gonna have to work on just walking to the door." Larrisa raised one of her immaculately groomed eyebrows. "Is that all you have to say for our first meeting in person in ten years?" Liz facepalmed. "To think I left you to these fails of Mafiosi..."_  
_

* * *

So, for the next three hours, the tall, middle-aged fuschia-dyed woman inspected thee Chiavarone mansion in all corners. Even the bedrooms(boy was Dino's a mess). When Larissa and Liz entered her room, Larissa urged(read: forced) Liz into her chair and began...La Interrogation.

"Did you learn how to fight?"

Wincing and rubbing her forearms, "Yes, ma'am."

"...Did they give you food?"

"Yes!"

"What weapons can you use?"

"...Umm, a metal fan, katanas, bo's, maces, knives-"

"Good. Do you know how to cook?"

"...Yes. How is this relevant-"

"Do you still have your virginity?"

"YES! What the fuck are you-"

Larissa shoved a soap bar into Liz's mouth. "Manners, little lady."

* * *

Striding into the rec room, Larissa found a group of tired looking Mafiosi sitting in chairs and drinking, playing poker with Liz. She didn't notice that Liz was grinning like the second coming of the Chesire Cat, who put down her cards. "Royal Flush, peeps."

* * *

**1st POV**

So I was sweeping in the chips, and the pink devil tapped my shoulder. 'Holy schnitzels!' I screamed mentally. With my awesome deadpan expression, I stated, "It isn't very polite to scare all the shit outta me when I'm in the middle of collecting my money." Larissa blinked. "Wait a sec there buddy, did you just say money?" Larissa's eyes were covered by a shadow. Romario answered for me and told her that yes, I was going to take their real money. Pink-Lady-of-Blindness was about to go 'BOOM', so I told her this was how I got an allowance. "I actually have about 17,000 euros. It's a very profitable business."

* * *

**3rd POV**

Dino walked into the rec room because he had lost sight of his guest. "Romario, have you seen the baby's caretaker?"

"She went to the kitchen, Boss."

"Thanks!"

He rushed back up the stairs and nearly tripped _again_ on another carpet. He sighed. Sprinting into the kitchen, Larissa turned around and held up a beautiful pastry. "So, _Dino_, would you be willing to try to eat my special homebaked scones?" Liz was waving her arms at him to not even touch it, but was sadly ignored. Dino took one bite...And facefloored. With cracks in the supposedly hardest tiles in the world.

* * *

** So, my fellow humans, how was it? I need feedback or I'll be sad! TT^TT Don't ignore meee!**


	8. Planes, I hate you

**Hello, slow update. I hate life. That is all, and the other user is complaining. Bye~**

**1st POV**

So, yaysies! I was going to Japan, the holy place of copy-cats! The place of good seafood and cute, small miniaturized things! SQUEEEEEE- "No, Liz. Must not be distracted. Must be a stalker and give reports to pink douche-" I was interrupted when a finely manicured hand decided to make a rather brief contact with my cheek and make a large slapping noise. "What was that for!?" Larissa merely turned her nose up at me and started filing her nails with a customized MLP design on the filer. I growled. Reborn looked up at Larissa and merely stated, "You haven't changed at all, Ms. Fourth Cousin." My eyes popped out of their sockets. Now the mind-reading thingy made sense-

"We are very different, thank you very much." The two growled in unison. I put up my hands in surrender and silently looked away. After all, the eyes are the windows to the soul and all that crap. I feebly hoped that they could only read the minds of those they looked in the eyes. Apparently, the gift was strong with O-Blinding-One, who shot, "I don't need to look at your eyes." Larissa then punched Reborn in the fedora to further her point. Needless to say, Leon transformed into something rather intimidating. I hightailed it as the duo began fighting in the private plane's main cabin.

* * *

**3rd POV**

Liz was curled up in a fetal position in the pilot's cabin, where the pilot and his assistant both looked stupefied at the young girl in earthquake mode. Larissa and Reborn were currently in the main cabin, fighting it out in what they called, a 'mini sparring playfight', though Liz seriously doubted it, from the sounds of explosives, gunshots, and the screeching of metal on metal. At that moment, a couple of muted shouts were heard, and a _very _noticeable creaking and ripping of metal was heard. Being the retarded human she was, Liz immediately clutched the door and yanked it open, and so very idiotically allowed the wind to rip her from the belly of the plane and into a 7,600 freefall. Today was another bad day, and Liz was able to understand Dino very well, from the very first day.

* * *

I landed in a very shallow water fountain with a naked baby on it. And only managed to get some minor bruises. WTF, anime logic."Uh...Liz?" The Abomination to all bright colors was unsure. 'Hell froze over yet?' Liz raised an eyebrow. Pink Lady fidgeted. FIDGETED, do you hear? This was definitely not a very good topic.

"So...about this world...when you are no longer needed, you die." I blinked. Say what? "Do I go to heaven or whatever it is that is the afterlife?" Larissa sighed. "This is it. When you have no more purpose here, you simply cease to exist." I turned around and attempted to digest what she just informed me of. My lovely, sweet death.

* * *

**Horrible, ain't it? My writing is turning out bad, but this info is somewhat important for later things. Gee, I'm not writing on impulse that much anymore(that's why I'm such a crap writer). **

**Review is like cookie and cookie is like you!-Cookie Monster**


	9. Sushi and Sashimi

**Yay! Super quick update! And all right, that quote isn't by our adorable, fluffy, cookie smasher. It actually should be something like: "(insert word) is like cookie and cookie is for me!" I forgot that word... Anyway, R&R~**

**I don't own anything except for my OC's. This also makes up for last time.**

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Liz walked into the small apartment. Larissa waltzed in, until she got past the kitchen door. "What is all this?..." Actually, it was the lack of something. The kitchen was all shiny, bare, and bald. Liz suggested hopefully, "Take-out?"

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The strange duo strolled(**for the blinder who uses the color pink, read: skipped**) through the doorway of the sushi shop, Takesushi. "Welcome!" Yamamoto Senior waved us to the counter. "What would you like?" Liz ordered a box of salmon and yellowtail sushi, while the pink blob attracted all of the customers' attention. Loudly, Larrisa hummed, "How about some _sashimi_?" Liz sweatdropped. First, she was attracting attention, as she was an attention hog. Then she had to go get a big box of raw fish and condiments(not all sashimi is raw, though). Liz slowly tried to melt into the counter and disappear. While the sushi chef sliced the fish, he smiled and tried for some friendly conversation, and the customers pretended they didn't exist, except for a noisy little kid.

"You guys don't look too familiar. Are you from around these parts?"

"Err, no. We're actually from...Uh, actually, we travel around alot." Liz looked at the ground and tapped her toes.

"Oh, are you related?" Yamamoto laughed.

"Um, she's my-"

"Fairy godmother!" Larissa squealed. She started gushing about how cute I was when I was... Ya know, the stuff your grandma spouts about you when you were a baby.

Liz facepalmed. '-caretaker,' she finished in her head.

Larissa babbled on and on about...disturbingly true events in Liz's past life, like how she fell into the plastic pool and got mad at it, so dismantled it rather violently. Except that instead of her dying at age 16, she lost her 'dear parents' in a terrible car accident. The kid started screaming and crying when she reached the hospital room where her 'darling baby angel' recovered. No one realized Liz was losing it. The kid rose an octave. A shadow crossed over her face. Slamming her hand down on the table where the kid was sitting at, she whispered, but everyone heard her clearly. "One more noise, and I'll murder you in the most violent way possible, bring you back to life, and repeat just for my own amusement."

Larissa stared, in shock, as Liz stalked out in possibly the most sour mood in all of Namimori that day. No one followed, except for their stares.

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***Next Day***

Larissa avoided the human bomb. She was afraid that even eye contact would detonate the child. At least that was what she thought, and in her haste to rush away, left her bag in the room. Liz stealthily reached into her Prada bag and pulled out a wallet, for the money. But the surprise was in the cards. Liz quickly emptied out the wallet and piled up the money neatly on the table. Shaking out the cards, she picked up a silver card, with a halo and a white feather depicted on it. 'Angel of Resurrection,' it read. Liz frowned. She mused that maybe this flamingo of an angel was tired of wearing white. A tired, old angel- no, a flamingo. And angel flamingo. That wasn't right either. Unfortunately for said girl stealing money, the pink bird flapped in like a raging rhinocerous.

Liz fled and wondered how a bird could turn into a full-grown mammal. 'Waterfowl into Rhino,' Liz thought subconsciously, unceremoniously crashing into the boss of pompadour-wearing, rule-enforcing delinquints.

"_Mi~Dori Tana~Biku~ Nami~Mori~_ _No~_"

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**PIX: Now, I'm pretty sure that you all know who that person is. **

**Mukuro:*eating canned pineapples* Who is it? Is the person strong? In the Mafia? *crushes can***

**PIX: Clearly- No spoilers for you, O Dumbassity! Wait! I need those pineapples for the camping trip! *chases after a fleeing pineapple with legs***

**Liz: Yes, finally that dumb author is going to stop messing with my life and go on a camping trip. I hope she gets roasted like a pig.**

***Background noise of scuffling, muted shouts, and slapping noises, and the "Stupid Pineapple!"***_  
_

**PIX: *panting* Read *pant* and review!**

**Mukuro: Where do I come in?**

***more scuffling***

**Liz: Review or I'll dismantle all of you readers' insides like a blender. *stalks off, probably to kill the poor noisy kid***


	10. Jumping Buildings

**ALL RIGHT! YOU! YES, YOU! DID YOU READ CHAPTERS 8 _AND_ 9? **

**Please read because I updated chapter 9 really fast. Now, enjoy the new chappie...Or else~ *smirks evilly***

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Liz fell down, _ungracefully_, on her poor little tushie. Mind you, Liz tushies are bony. "Ooowww~" Liz complained, "watch where you're goin' bitch." Hibari, having been a brick wall, didn't budge until the insult. He had half a mind to knock out the whining herbivore right then and there. Instead, he poked her with one of his metal sticks, none too gently, and asked who she was and what her business was. "Ooh, you're _sooo _gonna regret that, ya mothafuck-" Liz's head snapped up and she began to curse, but sputtered and choked when she realized who she ran into. Liz tried for a smile, but ended up looking like she was constipated with a serious case of diarrhea.

Hibari was impatient. First, Kusakabe accidentally splashed coffee(Liz: Why coffee? Tea is better!) onto his papers when another herbivore burst into the office and reported that a couple of delinquent herbi- no, plants. Maybe amoeba, was it? Well, anyways, they were vandalizing school property by wiping the walls deliberately with mud. During the 'biting-to-death' session, one of the amoeba pulled out a knife and violated the school rule of no weapons on campus(ah, the irony!). After sending all three protozoans into a fit of crying and hysteria, he went to patrol _his_ beautiful town and bumped into Innocent Herbivore #1 of today.

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Liz got up painfully(her arse still stung) and waved a bit tentatively at the glowering prefect. "Well, then," Liz slowly hopped backward a little bit at the awkward atmosphere, "I guess I'll be going now..." Scanning the surrounding area, Liz found a possible escape. Hopping onto a garbage dumpster, she took the leap of faith...

...and grabbed the windowsill. 'Hah!' Liz crowed inside her head. 'The Liz has leveled up! Next time, I shall grow a pair of wings!' Flipping herself onto the low roof, she nearly slipped on the loose shingles. "Now for the parkour to come into practice~" Liz cackled stupidly. Not that it wasn't a feat. I mean, jumping and doing weird, building/city obstacle courses without any major injuries is cool. "Don't be racist; be like Mario~" Liz sang. "He's and Italian plumber created by Japanese people who speaks English and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a Jamaican, runs like a black man, and collects coins like a Jew~"

Hibari was chasing after her with possibly more grace than a panther. Carnivore, my ass. He was a freaking rampage robot that wielded two metal tubes. Liz made a move to jump onto her shared apartment, just in time to see a cow start crying and throw some hot pink grenades. "Fuschia Bonanza, Lambo _is_ your great-nephew, right?!"

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Liz was pooped. She was just blown into the sky, only to fall and possibly crack her vertebrae and ribs next to Hibari, who merely sidestepped to avoid the human meteorite. Not a good combination, _especially_ if that person who sidestepped could have been nice enough to catch her, after all, she didn't expect to land on an undamaged part of the street. With singed clothes, Liz groaned and spat out, "You bastard...that's what's called a trust fall."

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**PIX: So...like it?** **Please? So reviews, anyone? I seem to be missing some~ Although you don't have to give any because I'm writing for my own enjoyment.****  
**

**Liz: Bitch, please. You're just a self-centered brat who wants acknowledgement for this crap story of yours.**

**PIX: Why are all my creations so mean to me...*weeps* Reviews, please! *hic* By the way, since the whole entire site is just for FF's, I don't think we need disclaimers. Oh well. I don't own anything. Not even my shirt(hand-me-down).**


	11. New Lodgings

**Hello peeps! Sowwy for the super uber duper late update! *cringe* Don't kill me please! R&R, and enjoy, above all!**

**I don't even own me. My parents do. Therefore, I definitely don't own Khr. TT^TT**

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"Reborn! Where the fuck are you taking me?" Ah, the joys of free speech when the fairy godmother left for a hit. For Liz, it was such a relief not to have a soap bar shoved into her mouth, but the freak baby was directing her to who knows where. "To a better place for you to live." The apartment had miraculously not been blown up anywhere except for the rooms that Liz and Larissa were residing in. Unfortunately, Liz was being steered by the hair, a not-so-fun way of being told where to go. When she didn't go fast enough, Reborn yanked harder on her hair, to the point it seemed that every hair on her head was pulled at least four times. At last they arrived. Liz doubled over panting, and Reborn hopped off of her head. She failed to notice that the name on the ornately arranged short, stone bore the name 'Hibari' on it. Hitman one, Liz zero...

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**First POV**

I stared. And stared some more. What the fuck, man. The place looked like it was from a long, long time ago. 'I bet it don't even have any air conditioners.' I deliberately strayed from the cobblestone path to run over the mini wooden bridge in the manicured traditional garden. Reborn hopped back on my head from one of the younger Japanese maples to ring the bell. Oh, damn. They have a bell. A real doorbell. Maybe they would have air-conditioning. I heard quiet steps on what I presumed was a wooden floor. The home-owner then slid open the traditional paper door. And I fainted from shock. I didn't eat lunch, so my excuse was that I was hungry.

**3rd POV**

Hibari had better things to do than accepting _tenants_ under his roof. This place was _his_, and only his. The baby had insisted though, and since it was the baby, the herbivore had to interesting, right? Had to be more _fun_(**read: fight-able**) than the average everyday plant-eater, right? So when he pushed the door open, he didn't expect the small herbivore who had run into him just a few hours earlier(more like twelve). _It_ (see, Liz is now an it!)seemed to have a heart attack or something, as she toppled over like a wooden board, so to speak. Hibari's eye twitched.

"Akambo..."

"Hibari."

"...Is this the herbivore." A statement, not a question. A command, it was.

Reborn found this event quite amusing. "Yes, this is she."

Hibari 'harumphed', then turned to walk inside. Looking back at the baby, he called out, "Leave her there. She can come in when she wakes up." Reborn chuckled darkly inside. Now he had more inspiration for the Dame-Boss.


End file.
